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My son's chelation update, rounds 19 thru 42

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Detailed descriptions of chelation, will leave this expanded version here temporarily

[ROUND 19/20, Round 6 for #1]

#1 has now found the joys of knock knock jokes, as follows --

#1 -- Knock knock
Me -- Who's there?
#1 -- Spank
Me -- Spank who?
#1 -- Spank YOU

Me -- Knock knock
#1 -- Who's there?
Me -- Orange
#1 -- Orange who?
Me -- Orange you glad I'm not a banana

Then later in the day I overhear this round --

#1 -- Knock knock
#4 -- Who's there?
#1 -- Grape
#4 -- Grape who?
#1 -- Grape you glad the clouds are not raining

Apparently this was hysterically funny to them, but it was entirely lost on me LOL. But #1 has been generally clueless with jokes and riddles, and now he is *beginning* to understand humor, so that is good. Plus he attends a Wednesday evening children's program at church, and he is doing very well there and has several new friends. He does still have some difficulty falling asleep at night, so we are allowing him to read by flashlight until he is sleepy. This is working out okay so far.

One of the potential drawbacks to homeschool, is the quality of your child's aide --

Me [teacher] -- What's this?
#3 -- Baw [ball]
Me -- What color?
#3 -- [blank look]
Me -- Blue. Blue ball.
#3 -- Boo baw
Me -- Yes, blue ball. What's this?
#3 -- Baw?
Me -- Red ball
#3 -- Wed baw

Then later in the day --

#4 [aide, self-appointed LOL] -- What's this?
#3 -- Gwee baw
#4 -- No, DIPSY baw!
#3 -- Dissy baw
#4 -- What's this?
#3 -- Wed baw
#3 and #4 together -- PO BAW!!


But despite the quality of my son's aide, he has learned [and SAYS] over 100 new words in the last three weeks, including colors, animals, names of his siblings, names of Thomas the Tank Engine trains, and several other things.

#2 had his birthday party, he carefully unwrapped each gift, discarded any clothing LOL [which my mother proudly proclaimed to be "typical kid"] and kept the toys. He did receive a shirt with a train on it tho, which #3 immediately noticed and stole, proclaiming it to be his LOL.

We also took the kids to the mountains to play in the snow [which is a major deal for those of us here on the sunny side of the country]. Last winter, all four kids whined and complained after about 20 minutes, that they were cold and wanted to go home. This year, #4 got cold after maybe an hour of sliding on the inner tube, but the older three I had to literally drag down the side of the mountain kicking and screaming that they did not want to leave. Now we have "snowball" fights at home, using multi-colored "ball pit" balls, which I also use for color recognition as indicated above.

#2 had a yeast issue for just over a week, so his expressive language basically did not progress, because that is what suffers most when he has a yeast issue. But #2 can now dress himself, except he does need help with buttons and snaps. He attempts to color inside the lines of the drawings now. He likes to talk on the phone, much to the humor of people who I subject to his version of talking LOL. And when I say "time to get in the car", now he knows that means he needs to use the toilet and put on his shoes, not just show up at the door. He and #3 are doing alphabet and number puzzles, and they can identify most of the letters and numbers, as well as sing the alphabet song and count objects.

Both #2 and #3 are learning colors, animals, names, foods, some verbs and prepositions, alphabet and number puzzles, and other things. These topics are new for #3, mostly review for #2 but I am currently using this time for articulation practice and use of phrases. In September they will be ages 6-1/2 and 5, and I want to start them together with a developmental kingergarten homeschool program at that time, and I am very glad they both appear to be progressing to that stage.

The best evidence I have, that my kids are definitely improving, was a few nights ago when my parents came over to give my husband and I our "monthly respite night". My father was raised in the era of "raising children is women's work", so he basically will play with the kids but won't do anything resembling "work". But that night, for the very first time, he was able to watch FOUR children, THREE of which are developmentally around 2-1/2 to 3 years old, ALL BY HIMSELF FOR 20 MINUTES, so my mother could CLEAN MY KITCHEN AFTER DINNER!!!!

If for nothing else [altho there is much more to be thankful for], coming home to children who are fed and bathed and ready for bed, AND a clean kitchen, is worth it LOL

[Round 21-25, Round 7-8 for #1]

For round 21 I increased ALA for #2 to 75 mg, and for #1 to 50 mg, with scaled for the other two children, which is where I think I will stay.

I also added the No-Fenol enzyme. I discovered that this enzyme in combination with GSE, is EXCELLENT at removing my kids' yeast issues. No more yeast! Plus I was able to reduce the amount of GSE I am using, and still keep yeast under control.

Just before round 24, I decided to try CLO again with my kids. They have never tolerated CLO, even with Peptizyde and Zyme Prime, but they are tolerating more and more things as the metals are being removed, so I thought I would try CLO again, because #2 does have a few remaining visual stims.

They now tolerate CLO, and three hours after I gave the first dose, #2 began experimenting with his usual visual stims. He would hold things at different angles in front of his eyes, and move his face closer to, and then farther away from, certain objects. This continued for about a week, and then it basically disappeared. Now #2 has no more eye stims!

With the introduction of the CLO, #2 and #3 also increased their language usage. They "babble" more now, and they are both becoming more and more interested in "using their words" rather than just using words when required. Also, articulation is better, it is much easier to understand them when they do talk.

Summary of major improvements during these rounds for #3: Babbles more, also uses actual words more. Learned possessives [daddy's shoe, mommy's hair] from #4, I was not even teaching this concept! He will also "tease" about things, for example a few days ago he pointed at our pet rat and said "elephant", so then #1 said "no, rat" and #3 said "no, elephant!" He was VERY insistent, but he was also smiling. The little devil! Then I pointed to the rat and said "elephant" and he said "no, rat!" He is also much more independent, wants to do everything himself, wants to sit where #2 was sitting, in the car and at the dinner table, wants to use utensils, VERY opinionated!

Summary of major improvements during these rounds for #2: Babbles more, uses actual words more. Has learned that he does not like the feeling of dirt in his shoes, so if he gets dirt in them, he will remove them and pour out the dirt. This occurs even if he is inside the house LOL. He is entirely potty trained for urine, even at night. He pooped into the toilet for the very first time, 2 days after I tried CLO again. He is much more independent, wanting to do things for himself. He will tease same as #3, also he will say "shoes off" and when I go to take his shoes off, he smiles and pulls his foot away.

At some point in the middle of round 25, #2 just "settled down". It is very hard to describe, but it was a major change in his "baseline activity level". He has never been really "hyper", but he has been what you would term an "active boy". But suddenly one day, for no readily apparent reason, he just suddenly settled down. It was very strange. But it was at this time that his remaining visual stims disappeared, and he began to do things in a more purposeful manner. Also at this time, altho it had been slowly progressing over the course of several weeks, he began not liking "rough play" quite so much as he had before. For example, in the past I was able to really throw him onto the couch, or really tickle him, like rough play. Now when I do things at the same intensity, he is scared or complains of "owwie". The other kids are also scared or get hurt when I play at the rough level I would use for #2, so he is definitely evening out in this area.

I thought at this point I would provide a summary of my #2 son, to let people know how far he has come in 2-1/2 years.

THEN: age 3-1/2, diagnosis "classic genetic Kanner's autism" by a pediatric neurologist, he did not develop and then regress and lose skills, he never developed at all. He tested at developmental level 0-3 months. ATEC score: 98 [in the 80-89 centile, severe].

NOW: age 6, interventions include ABA/DTT, gf diet [cf no longer necessary with enzymes], HNI enzymes [Peptizyde, Zyme Prime, No-Fenol], ALA chelation, zinc for copper, GSE for yeast, CLO, general vitamin/mineral supplements. ATEC score: 14 [0-9 centile, most of points issued in area of speech/language]. Altho this score might make it seem that my son is almost recovered, he is very obviously delayed and nowhere near age appropriate. He would probably test as developmental level age 2-1/2 to 3. However, he no longer qualifies as autistic, except if he develops a yeast issue, but his tendency towards this is reducing as chelation is progressing, and his food intolerance issues are also reducing as chelation is progressing, so I am hopeful that one day he will not have any food issues, yeast issues, or other issues. Altho I am aware that something else may arise, and I will need to research further. But so far, so good!

A. Qualitative impairments in reciprocal social interaction:

1.Marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction.

THEN: Made brief eye contact, had some facial expression, did not have "blank look", made no gestures or pointing, would lead me by the hand to direct my attention.

NOW: Normal eye contact, appropriate facial expression and emotional expression, points, waves, stomps foot, claps.

2.Failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level

THEN: Did not care if anyone was present in room, played alone.

NOW: Likes to play with other children at about the 2-1/2yo level, will also play alone, learning to share [and not liking it LOL], can be a bully because he is like a 2-1/2yo child in a strong 6yo body.

3.Lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with others.

THEN: Did his own thing, did not share anything, cried if you moved his toys or messed up his lines of objects, did not care if people were present.

NOW: Picks flowers and shows them to me [prefers dandelions and roses], requests brothers to play or asks to join their current games on about a 2-1/2yo level, brings books and asks to read, points to pictures and names objects and activities.

4.Lack of socioemotional reciprocity.

THEN: Unaware of emotions of others, occasionally would express curiosity at the emotions of others.

NOW: Does not like me to cry or scream, says "owwie" when brother cries, laughs when brother is tickled, tickles brother, helps daddy tickle me LOL. Yesterday he accidentally hurt me and I cried, he cried also and wiped my tears. Wants other people to like him and play with him most of the time. Can identify emotions and cause/effect he sees on videos.

B. Qualitative impairments in communication:

1.A delay in, or total lack of the development of spoken language (not accompanied by an attempt to compensate through alternative modes of communication such as gesture or mime).

THEN: Never had language. SLP evaluated him as developmental level 0-3 months, no expressive language except laughing and crying, receptive knew his name and the word "no" but none other.

NOW: Expressive probably age 2 or so, receptive closer to age 3. Babbles to himself and his trains, articulation is poor and it is difficult to understand him, sort of like he has a "thick tongue", altho this is improving. Can use 3-4 words together, occasionally 5, prefers to use the fewest number of words possible altho this is improving. Counts to 10, knows alphabet. Can learn new words from environment but usually requires some repetition in DTT style. Once he knows the word, he will use it himself.

2.Marked impairment in the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others despite adequate speech.

THEN: No language, not applicable.

NOW: Tries to communicate, concrete ideas only, not really "conversational", about 2yo level.

3.Stereotyped and repetitive use of language or idiosyncratic language.

THEN: No language.

NOW: Will repeat videos, especially songs. Once he learns a word or phrase a certain way, it is hard to get him to change it. Does not use "video speak" as regular language unless he does not know other words to communicate the same idea.

4.Lack of varied spontaneous make- believe play or social imitative play appropriate to developmental level.

THEN: No imitation, would line up objects and run his eyes along the line, or twirl sticks in front of his eyes. He did this all day, every day.

NOW: Imitates others, especially children doing bad things LOL. Can set up Thomas the Tank Engine wooden track and also Lionel O-gage track by himself into simple layouts including a few switches, can re-rail Lionel trains. Uses blocks to create tunnels and buildings, runs Matchbox cars over the tracks like at crossings. Plays basketball, swings, slides, makes sandcastles, learning how to ride bicycle with training wheels.

C. Restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interest, or activity:

1.Encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest, abnormal either in intensity or focus.

THEN: Flapped hands, lined up objects, bent sticks at right angles and twirled them in front of his eyes, ran his face along horizontal lines and lines of objects.

NOW: Likes trains, cars, construction trucks, animals, and ride-on toys. Learning how to ride a bicycle with training wheels. Will still twirl sticks at times but this is fading [once this behavior leaves, I will celebrate!!].

2.An apparently compulsive adherence to specific nonfunctional routines or rituals.

THEN: Had preferences but really did not care if we changed things, would sit at any chair at the table or in the car, eat from any plate, wear any clothing.

NOW: Will adapt readily to most changes, even when his brother decided to change places with him at the table and in the car. Just don't mess with his blankie!!!!!!!!

3.Stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g. hand or finger flapping, or twisting, or complex whole body movements).

THEN: Flapped hands, waved objects and sticks and his hands in front of his eyes, dragged head along floor.

NOW: Will flap hands when excited, but not for more than 2-3 seconds, still bends sticks but rarely twirls them in front of his eyes unless he has a yeast issue [this is actually my first sign to consider a yeast issue].

4.Persistent preoccupation with parts of objects.

THEN: No real issue.

NOW: Takes apart toys, likes removing stickers from everything! Can be destructive but is not malicious, just curious.

Physical qualities:

THEN: Bms could be soft but never diarrhea, would eat or drink basically anything, would eat until he threw up, very fat baby [we called him Little Buddha]. No real sensory issues except he did not like foods he could not eat with his fingers. Occasional skin rashes [#3 had almost permanent whiteheads all over his body]. Laughed at nothing, did not sleep much, no fear, generally a happy child but not "with us".

NOW: Firm bms unless he has a yeast issue. Potty trained for urine day and night. Working on potty training for bms. No skin rashes unless the air is very dry. Will still eat or drink almost anything but now he has his preferences. Eats with fork but still does not prefer eating things with a spoon. Knows when to stop eating. Thinned out and all that fat converted into muscle so he is stronger than I am! Very physical, no PT or OT issues here!

Self-help and daily living skills:

THEN: Basically none. Could feed himself with his hands.

NOW: Mostly potty trained, can use fork, can dress and undress himself including shoes on the correct feet [velcro, not tied], cleans up his toys, mostly obedient.

[Round 26-31, Round 9-11 for #1]

[scroll up for summary of dx criteria THEN and NOW]

These rounds took a while because I gave a two-week break for some fun year-end excursions, plus another week off to figure out a diarrhea problem as described below.

Rounds 26-28 were relatively uneventful, and after round 28 I gave two weeks off. Then round 29, after which my kids developed very runny diarrhea which looked similar to very diluted cottage cheese. After reading my own site yeast/bacteria page, I determined it might be bacteria, which my kids have never had before. I stopped GSE and gave probiotic. After about two days, the diarrhea cleared up, but then started back again. I fiddled with the dosage of GSE and probiotic, but it did not appear to impact the diarrhea. After several days of fiddling, I gave up and stopped both the GSE and the probiotic. The diarrhea went away. Go figure.

I am not really sure what happened, but I continued on without any GSE or probiotic, gave a week off after round 29 to figure all this out, then did round 30. I was nervous about doing the round without GSE, so I gave one drop 3x per day. This kept the yeast away, but on day 3 the runny diarrhea was back. So I stopped the GSE and gave probiotic again, which eliminated the diarrhea, but then I gave one extra dose of probiotic, "just as preventive", which caused diarrhea again. VERY strange. Also I noticed a connection with this diarrhea and the return of #4 goopy green eye discharge that she has had since she was 2 days old. I use erythromycin ointment for it when it flares up, and I notice that it flares up when she has this diarrhea problem. So I speculate that the probiotic actually helps the bacteria too well, causing overgrowth. Very strange.

For round 31 I gave GSE only one drop per day on day 2 and day 3, and that was enough to keep the yeast away AND not create a bacteria issue.

After I had their bms normal again, I challenged a few food items which previously my children did not tolerate, even with enzymes. I challenged corn syrup again, and they tolerate it now. This is nice because now I can give them Corn Pops cereal which they have really enjoyed in the past.

I challenged gluten again. I tried casein with enzymes several months ago, and they tolerate it just fine, but when I tried gluten plus enzymes before I began chelating, my kids regressed after about 10 days. But this time they tolerate it! I have been giving one piece of regular bread each day, and some days I also give Ritz crackers [which they insist on calling "cookies"], and my kids have no problems! Right now I really don't give a lot, just one piece of regular bread per day, and occasionally Ritz crackers, but so far it has been about three weeks and no problems.

I tried Gerber Arrowroot baby cookies and they had problems, so I think they still do not tolerate arrowroot. I challenged nitrites/nitrates accidentally, and #2 became slightly withdrawn and VERY emotional, so he still does not tolerate those.

Then another very strange thing happened. I give a mineral supplement on chelation "off" days, to supplement for any essential minerals which chelation might remove. When I added this supplement several rounds ago, my kids actually improved. But after I added back gluten, they started doing WORSE on off days than on chelating days. I removed the mineral supplement and they improved again. This was very strange to me. But then, after round 30, #2 started visual stims again, and #3 started chewing on objects and his skin rash increased. These things usually went away after the round, but this time they did not. They were not doing these things very much, but more than they had after the last few rounds.

I tried several things, including increasing the supplements I was giving, none of which worked. So I decided to remove all supplements except a very few, and start over. So I removed the vitamin B/C supplement, the calcium supplement, and the CLO. I kept HNI enzymes, ALA for chelating days, zinc for non-chelating days, and GSE [1 drop on day 2 and day 3 chelating]. When I first added these supplements several rounds back, they not only tolerated them but I saw noticeable improvement in my kids. But now when I removed them, my kids are doing AMAZING!

After making these adjustments, I have the following improvements:

#3 and #4 decided to get the lotion one day and put lotion on each other. An entire bottle. Too funny, except I had to clean it off the carpet, couch, wall, etc.

#4 is a little boss, she orders everyone around, telling everyone what to do. Speaks in full sentences. Can sneak food without enzymes and have no problems. No longer regresses during rounds. We put her in a "big girl" bed [bottom bunk with #1 on top], no more crib, my baby isn't a baby any more [*sniff*]. She is trying to give up her nap, so she is grouchy sometimes in the evenings. She also announced that she wants to use the potty!

#3 is almost speaking in full sentences, he uses many phrases and learns new words every day. He is a little devil too, very devious and crafty LOL. Has his own mind and definitely has no trouble letting you know what he wants! He can also sneak food without enzymes and have no problems, and he no longer regresses during rounds. Before I removed those supplements, when daddy came home he would point and say "daddy" or "there's daddy". He would ask for trains by saying "mommy train", he would indicate he was hurt by saying "mommy owwie". Now after adding gluten and removing supplements, he will run outside and say "hey daddy!", he says "mommy let's go train" and "mommy this is owwie". He says "thank you" when I give him things. He is also concerned when one of his siblings cries or is otherwise unhappy.

#2 speaks in phrases also, no full sentences yet, comparable to #3. He can sneak *some* food without enzymes and do okay, but not so many foods as #3 and #4. He also regresses somewhat during rounds [mostly small return of some visual stims]. He is very obedient, does what I tell him most of the time, helps his siblings [even if they don't want help LOL]. He is in the top bunk now with #3 on the bottom and he LOVES IT! He is 100% urine potty trained, even at night. He is also beginning to announce when he needs to use the toilet for a bm, and in fact he has actually done it twice now into the toilet, but not when he has diarrhea. Also, this is this round's "funny story". He acts just like a typical little kid when he has to pee but he does not want to interrupt what he is doing. He will stand there with his legs crossed and squirm. It is too funny to see him like that! He also "stands NT", not sure how to describe it, but he will stand with both feet on the floor but leaning with weight on one foot, arms crossed in front of him or on his hips. He stopped biting his nails!!!!!!!!! I can't believe the last time I cut all the kids' fingernails, that he actually had enough nail there to cut! Also once I removed the supplements, he began creating much more complicated block creations, and he will alternate taking turns with #4 in placing blocks. He also shows concern when a sibling is crying or otherwise unhappy. No major language breakthru these rounds, but it seems language is his most difficult area.

#1 is doing better in social situations, learning how to tell jokes and understand them a little better. Really enjoys reading books, even books he would have had no interest in before. He plays with his siblings, sets up forts by enclosing the bottom bunks, all the kids get inside and hide from me or from each other. He will lay in his bed with #3 and read him a story. We taught him how to use the computer and now I can't use my computer nearly so often as I did before LOL! He has fewer CAPD issues, and his vocabulary has increased enormously. I had a lot of trouble convincing him to try using new words, but now I hear him use a new word every day, without my prompting. And he has apparently learned most of these words from books, because I don't remember teaching him most of the new words he is now using. Also, he no longer hates to write and will voluntarily make "books" and other things.

[Round 31-42, Round 12-18 for #2]

I kept the same protocol for these rounds. My kids started regressing, they were back to soft bms and #2 started his visual stims again. After much trial and error, I discovered they cannot have corn. Over the past three years, I have removed and added back corn with no noticeable effect, but this time the removal of corn had dramatic effect. So my kids are no longer gfcf, but they are now corn free [as well as a few other things]. They are now doing better than ever!

I had no yeast problem during these rounds, my kids have been drinking diluted juice and eating fruit every day, with occasional cookies, and even during rounds, I have never had to treat yeast. In fact, when I did try to give just one drop of GSE [when I thought the regression was because of yeast], they all developed diarrhea. I am hopeful that yeast is now a thing of the past!

I have noticed, however, that during the rounds, #2 has major problems with attention. I have to call his name 2-3 times before he will turn and look at me. He regresses to where he just points at things and says "NO" when he wants something. I can basically forget about teaching him anything related to language during rounds. It is a little unnerving, but after the round is over, he develops new skills at an amazing rate. So I believe we are finally addressing major metal issues in his brain. Rather a scary thought, but exciting also.

#2 is starting to cover his ears for certain noises, including the microwave and our cuckoo clock. I suspect he is developing more "normal" hearing, which he is interpreting as "excessive noise". At the beginning of the summer, he experienced a period of a few months when he wanted to wear shoes all the time, instead of his usual barefoot state, but after a few months this passed. I believe it was the return to normal sensation in his skin and specifically his feet. So I believe this sound sensitivity is his reaction to more normal hearing.

#2 and #3 enjoy sitting down together with books and pictures and things, and talking to each other about them. Most of what they say I can't understand, they both have articulation problems which makes it difficult to understand them, but they appear to know exactly what they are saying LOL. They appear to enjoy doing this more than watching videos, which is VERY nice!

#2 still has a LOT of problems with language, but it is improving. Until a few weeks ago, all of his language was functional. He would use as few words as possible to get his point across, and he would only talk when he wanted something. He would occasionally talk "for his trains", but they would always be telling the other trains what to do, etc, so still rather "functional".

One day a few weeks ago, I left the house to be gone all day. I left before the kids were awake. I came home after dinner. I walked in the door and #3 and #4 said "hi mommy". [#1 just looked up from his book at me LOL]. #2 came up to me and put his arms out and said "up" so I picked him up and gave him a big hug [this is a huge 6yo child LOL, and I was wearing a suit]. He smiled, put his head on my shoulder, gave a big sigh, and said "it's mommy". This is the most social communication he has ever said, and it was not said to accomplish any purpose like him wanting water or anything. Very nice! =)

We have been working on writing. My kids know all their letters and numbers, plus shapes, but would not write them, or if they did, it was not readable. While in a doctor office one day, the waiting room had a Magna Doodle toy, with a magnet pen and screen. #2 enjoyed playing with that toy, so the next day I bought him one. After several days of playing with it, he now writes upper and lower case of all the letters, and they are even readable! #3 and #4 also write now, altho they are not quite as readable as #2.

Except for letters and shapes, anything else #2 would draw was just a scribble. Yesterday morning, he was drawing scribbles. Yesterday afternoon he was drawing faces and cars and trains and trees and Pooh Bear and other things. Yesterday evening he was drawing Pooh Bear holding a balloon under a tree, our swingset with him and his brother on it and me pushing them, a table and chairs and plates and cups and food and him eating, and quite a few other scenes!

I sit all the kids at the table to do our "lessons", and they all pay attention and do what they are asked [well, most of the time LOL]. They will even cooperate when my husband does the lessons instead of me.

My #3 son now has the same amount of language as #2, and in some instances he has MORE language. #1 is doing better with social situations, and his handwriting skills continue to improve. His interests are also expanding.

All my kids are now very interested in "fairness", they want to be just like each other, in some ways this imitation is driving me nuts! When one rides a scooter or bicycle, they all want to ride a scooter or bicycle. When one writes on Magna Doodle, they all want to write on Magna Doodle. When one takes off his clothes, I will almost immediately have three naked children [fortunately #1 does not do this]. I will be rubbing #4 back and #3 will come up and say "mommy tickle back" and pull up his shirt. Then #2 will come over and force his way into the middle of things [and he is large enough and strong enough to do so LOL] and say "tickle back".

I have of course, used this to my advantage. #3 enjoys helping me bring in the bags from the store, so I will give him a bag, which will make the others also want a bag to bring in! I tell one of them to pick up the toys and put them away, and all of them will start to help [I wonder how long this will last LOL]. They all dress themselves and put on their shoes, #3 and #4 are starting to be interested in using the potty just like #2. #4 enjoys taking a shower with me, which means my last refuge to be alone without children is gone!

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